Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here 2015 Edition

from Nick Suss

March 31, 2015, 10:39 a.m.

Okay, before I start this year’s edition, I’m going to tell you guys a little story. I know I normally try to keep the prefacing to a minimum with my poetry, but this year’s column needs a little explaining.

You guys know I love baseball. It’s pretty much the reason I get up in the morning from April through October. And I often make jokes about how baseball is the sport of my dreams. This year that was literally true.

These projections for how the baseball season will go came to me in a dream back in January. The poetry was still a long and arduous process that took me a long, long time figure out completely. But the projections stem from dreamland. So if you think that my picks, especially my World Series pick, seems a little out-there, keep in mind I made these picks in my sleep. So why am I sticking with them? Because I like them.

You know the drill. The following is a list by division of the teams I expect to come in first place followed all the way to last place. This year we begin with the NL East and cycle all the way through to the AL West. Playoff and award predictions are below.

So without any further ado, here is the 2015 edition of my favorite article on the planet, the fifth-annual Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here 2015

Washington has kicked things up to the Max

Just five years removed from nothing but hacks

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

With upstart pitching and a great outfield

Success the Marlins will soon no doubt yield

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

The Bravos are tanking, to say the least

But still may finish third; weak NL East

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

The Mets rotation looks awful pretty

But here’s one gripe: Their lineup’s still Citi

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

2008 just seems so far away

That year’s Nats and Phils gone Freaky Friday

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

They always are good, don’t let down your guards

For St. Louis, winning is in the Cards

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

I’m still on the Pirates, maybe the last

Not willing to say that their time has past

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

The prospects are coming, get pumped for this

For the first time, Everybody Loves Kris

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

After last year’s collapse, hope may be gone

When building a team, brains always beat Braun

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Reds to last – say domo arigato

And yes, it hurts to pick against Votto

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Who wins the Wild West? It’s worth debatin’

But what’s automatic? That dude Clayton

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

In San Fran things are still looking rosy

Cause now it’s three rings around the Posey

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Spend spend spend trade spend spend spend spend trade spend

But they still are the Padres in the end

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

For Colorado, 2015 ain’t bright

Don’t call it Coors Field, it’s more like Coors Light

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

As it is said, a team is not one guy

Even as much as Paul Goldschmidt might try

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Orioles can’t just rest on their laurels

To win, sometimes it takes Balti-morals

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Went from up to down, let’s call it choppy

Who stays consistent? Dustin and Papi

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Donaldson is an upgrade, this is true

Come fall he’ll just be another Jay blue

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Couldn’t sustain it, the Rays are too poor

Couldn’t name the right Price, now they’ll need Moore

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Now that we’ve said our goodbyes to Jeter

Say hello to your favorite cheater

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

They let Scherzer walk, trying to be smart

But here’s a good choice: resigning V-Mart

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

How good is Kluber? Please let me describe

He won a Cy Young and plays for the Tribe

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

I won’t mention Sale. I promise. I lied.

But I’ll still give love to the whole South Side

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

I think the Royals fall back some this year

Just too much Ned Yost, at least that’s my fear

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

I’ve run out of puns to make off Mauer

Makes me feel dirty. Might need a shower.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

The Angels will win, their lineup is stout

A serious question: Can they pitch Trout?

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

Here’s my prediction, it might sound eager

All in on Felix, all in on Seager

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

I hate to say it, don’t want to be mean

But this year’s sun has set on Billy Beane

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

The Astros don’t suck as much as they did

Then again no one does, heaven forbid

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

The Rangers are bad, it’s a secret but true

Keep it quiet, just between me and Yu

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here.

OBVIOUS AWARD PREDICTIONS:

AL MVP: Mike Trout

AL Cy Young: Chris Sale

NL MVP: Bryce Harper

NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw

OFF-THE-BEATEN-PATH (WRONG) AWARD PREDICTIONS

AL MVP: Kyle Seager

NL MVP: Anthony Rizzo

AL Cy Young: Chris Archer

NL Cy Young: Henderson Alvarez

PLAYOFF PICKS

AL Wild Card: Mariners over Indians

NL Wild Card: Pirates over Giants

AL Divisional: Mariners over Tigers

AL Divisional: Angels over Orioles

NL Divisional: Nationals over Pirates

NL Divisional: Dodgers over Cardinals

ALCS: Mariners over Angels

NLCS: Nationals over Dodgers

World Series: Nationals over Mariners


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