Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here 2014

from Nick Suss

March 29, 2014, 11:13 a.m.

This should need no introduction at this point, but as always, here is the preface. My predictions for the 2014 Major League Baseball season are as follows. The preview goes division by division. The top team in each division is the team I expect to win the division, followed by second place, so on and so forth. Attached at the bottom are my playoff and award picks.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Can the Rays build around young Wil Myers?

Still, after the Price trade, they’ll be the cryers.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

World Champs after bottom of the barrel,

I’ll still be Scrooge to their Christmas Farrell

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Chris Davis can rake. Adam Jones can churn.

Put them together, then you have Auburn.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The Cap’s last hurrah will bring on my tears

What can I say? Thanks for 19 great years!

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The Blue Jays in last, so on and so forth

The way the play? More like the Great White Bore-th

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

It’s been years of crap, struggles and toils

But now Lorde is wrong: We will be Royals

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The new richest man: Miguel Cabrera

Hey Miggy, you got some cash to spare-a?

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Tribe’s postseason goes back in the casket

But look Boo Boo, a Kip-n-is basket!

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

My Cy Young winner from a crappy team

Picked them last year. This year? Not in a dream.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Minnesota Joe still knows how to hit

It sucks the rest of his team plays like shit.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Billy Beane has bats to win some games

Too bad no one knows any of their names

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

MVP should be one of Mike Trout’s goals

But the Halos need some more from Pujols

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

No Kinsler? No Young? Prince Fielder in blue?

The Rangers fans be saying “Who are Yu?”

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The M’s brought a lot of cash to Safeco

But will it work out? Eh, I don’t Cano.

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

How short is Jose Altuve again?

He’s the new Jake in Two and a Half Men

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Atlanta’s winter: Who didn’t get paid?

Atlanta’s spring: One big surgeon brigade

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Harper could be the best player on Earth

But still, he isn’t, for what it’s Werth

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The NL East is so bad this season

The Marlins in third and that’s the reason

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The Phils’ GM is Ruben Amaro

Will they win? Not today or tomorrow

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

In the present, the Mets’ chances are slight

Harvey’s hurt, they can’t do anything Wright

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The Pirates are stacked, got over the hump

I like their chances with Cole on the bump

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

My man crush on Joey Votto rolls on

But I like them less with Shin Soo Choo gone

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Second in Missouri? What a shock-a!

But don’t count out Lynn, Miller and Wacha

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Fourth in this league? Nothing at to snort

Though it’d be fun to see CarGo at short

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Cubbie fans still hope, they watch and they pray

They don’t bring back Kosuke Fukudome

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The richest team in baseball plays out west

Take it from me: richest doesn’t mean best

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

No need to improve, they’re built for the falls

You’ve got to admire Bruce Bochy’s balls

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Tongues out D’Backs, you won’t go shyly

What’d you expect? Your ace is named Miley

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

The Pads not in last? A Yippee picks first!

San Diegans so happy, they might burst

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

Poor Rockies, poor Rockies, they still can’t pitch

With Helton gone, this year’ll be a bitch!

Yippee, Yippee, Baseball is Here

PICKS

WC: TIGERS over RED SOX

WC: REDS over CARDINALS

DS: TIGERS over ATHLETICS

DS: RAYS over ROYALS

DS: PIRATES over BRAVES

DS: DODGERS over REDS

CS: RAYS over TIGERS

CS: PIRATES over DODGERS

WS: PIRATES over RAYS

Award Winners

AL MVP: Mike Trout

AL Cy Young: Chris Sale

NL MVP: Andrew McCutchen

NL Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw


Comments

comments powered by Disqus
Stats

1949 views

760 words

3 minutes

Tools