Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone 2015

from Nick Suss

Nov. 2, 2015, 12:31 p.m.

Well, it's a sad day. The 2015 baseball season is over. And we have a few dark months before pitchers and catchers start pitching and catching again. So, as I do every year, here is my season-end eulogy. Here is the fifth annual edition of "Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone," my year-end baseball wrap-up poem. Let me know what you think and submit your own poems or comments in the comments below. Also, you can read my past few editions of Dang It, Dang It by going through the archives on this site if you click on my name up top.

Okay. Poem time. Let's go.

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Blue Jays

Traded for Price and for Tulowitzki

In the playoffs, it didn't mean shit-zki

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Yankees

The Yankees success sure was inspiring

Kept a whole horde of vets from retiring

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Orioles

Chris Davis bounced back; the O's could still rake

But letting Cruz go, that was a mistake

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Rays

If Rays fans showed up, then they would've seen

That this team wasn't as bad as '14

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Red Sox

What happened to the Sox? Nobody knows.

Team favored to win suddenly Pa-blows

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Royals

They're the World Chaps. I'll take nothing away.

It's not just me. We're all Royals today.

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Twins

The Twins were not a team to monitor

Til they got turned around by Molitor

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Indians

Spring: They check every box on the rubric

But they were victimized by pure Klubris

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Tigers

Even though Miggy is the awesomest

This team got overmanaged by Ausmus

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

White Sox

A disastrous season from rail to rail

Except for in games started by Chris Sale

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Rangers

I am still surprised, who would've thought it?

The Rangers were good? Still haven't bought it.

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Astros

The best Astros core since Han met Leia

Can't wait to see more Carlos Correa

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Angels

They're too big to fail. Of that there's no doubt.

How do you not win it all with Mike Trout?

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Mariners

I was wrong to pick Seattle

Turns out the West was their losing battle

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Athletics

Another error for the Athletics

Their defense is dead. Call paramedics.

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Mets

They traded for Yo, saw young arms succeed

But put their season on Addison Reed?

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Nationals

Bryce broke out, a feather in the Nats' cap

Then he got hit. Thanks for everything, Pap.

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Marlins

The fish were supposed to win lots this year

Instead they got hurt and brought up the rear

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Braves

Braves are all in for 2017

In the meantime, want a spot on the team?

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Phillies

Rollins and Hamels and Utley are gone

Now the Phillies' roster is quite a yawn

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Cardinals

The whole team was injured all season long

So apparently the Cards can't go Wong

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Pirates

Second best record still not enough

Playing in the Central sure must be tough

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Cubs

The Cubs deserve to be still riding high

But their World Series hopes couldn't McFly

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Brewers

The started off slow and never got fast

At least the Brewers did not come in last

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Reds

He still gets on base, he still can go yard

But Votto can only take you so far

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Dodgers

Here's a new poem: Kershaw and Greinke

And when they don't pitch, go for the hankey

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Giants

No playoffs for San Fran but have no fear

It doesn't matter, it is an odd year

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Diamondbacks

You know nothing about Arizona

It's as if they play in Barcelona

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Padres

Oh the poor Padres, it was a damn shame

They spend so much money and still were lame

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Rockies

How can a team that scores so many runs

Finish 24 back of everyone?

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

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Thank you for reading and have a happy offseason.


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