Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone 2014

from Nick Suss

Oct. 30, 2014, 10:12 a.m.

Once again, baseball season is over. Once again, this deeply saddens me. Once again, I have commemorated this season, one of the better seasons I've had the pleasure to have watch start to finish, with 90 lines of poetry. I hope you enjoy it. Here is yet another edition of Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone.

Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone:

There is never too much a team can score,
But in pitching terms, less is Balti-more
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

For this summer, the Yanks were not on top
But they did say thank you to the shortstop
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Mainly on his back, they played well early
But what surprise? Implosion of Buehrle!
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Deadline came – Rays were not viewed to highly
Season ends – Those same fans became Smyly
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Make up your mind, are you good now or bad?
For the Boston Sox, success is a fad
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

So inconsistent: Justin Verlander
More consistent Le Tigre? Zoolander.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The U.S. was hooked. We were all loyals.
Tell the U.K.; we cared about Royals
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Corey Kluber’s an ace. He can sure throw.
Give him some time. His name then you might know.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The White Sox new strategy cannot fail
Call them Wal-Mart. Everything is on Sale.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Twins need to set their roster on fire
Where to start: manager for GardenHire
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

In the playoffs Trout couldn’t find his steam
That’s why the Angels were swimming upstream
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

At the deadline, Billy Beane seemed needy
But, the baseball gods saw it as greedy
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

How fun would an M’s postseason berth be?
Felix in October I want to see.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Astros did not finish in last place
Trust me. I am not lying to your face.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

What happened in Arlington this summer?
Yu have to think this year was a bummer.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Their rotation was strong, outfield was deep
When you played the Nats, you began to weep
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Oh say does that Red and Blue collapse wave?
The land of the Freeman. The home of the Braves.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The young Mets can pitch but hit they cannot
Yes, in Citi Field three runs is a lot
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Is good baseball really back in South Beach?
Bring back Jose, the postseason’s in reach
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Are the Phillies old? The answer is yes.
The only team that watches CBS.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Gosh. Will the Cardinals ever not be good?
Bet the NL Central sure hopes they would
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Pirates fought back in the playoff race
But their pitching can’t keep runners off base
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Brew Crew duped fans into summer joy
With the fall came the fall of Lucroy’s boys
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

With a packed DL, the Reds had no juice
Can’t build a team around Cueto and Bruce
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Cubbies still stink. The sky is still blue.
Up is still up. All of this remains true.
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Kershaw is the best pitcher here on Earth.
But in October he can’t prove his worth
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Madison Bumgarner, chug all those beers
You only earn them in Olympic years
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Padres’ bats were the worst in the bigs
They looked like they came out there swinging twigs
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

Coors Field was in full effect this last spring
To score that much most need Peyton Manning
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone

The Snakes live and die by Paulie G’s bat
This summer proved why they shouldn’t do that
Dang It, Dang It, Baseball is Gone


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