A Quick One for the Road
Tomorrow I’m going on vacation. Except, I really haven’t been working that hard to necessitate a vacation and I will be working while on vacation, so I really am just changing scenery. So I decided I’d tell my devoted and wide-reached reader base a few scattered stories a la some of my other “Thoughts” pieces to stave them over before I do my end of summer overhaul of stories, recaps, personal podcasts (more on that later), lists and overall freak out. What do I mean by that? You already know. You guys know me. And if you don’t know me personally, you know me through my writing. Whenever something comes to an end, I tend to freak out. At this juncture I have about two and a half weeks left of summer. That means that you should prepare for a barrage of way-too introspective crap about what this summer meant to me. Some of you will read that and get sentimental and sympathize with my quasi-perceived pain. Others will think of it as useless drivel and go on with your days unaffected. But either way, this is a fair warning.
So I took a long drive today. I had to drive from my house down to Atlantic Station to pick up media credentials for a tennis tournament I was supposed to cover but couldn’t because of the aforementioned vacation. Driving to the ATL isn’t that bad. But then I had to drive from Atlantic Station to Athens and then back from Athens to my house. And that was inconvenient to say the least. Especially since no one wanted to come with me. So I was left to drive for what amounted to four and a half hours by myself. Which isn’t too painful, just tedious. However, whenever I find myself stuck with myself for a long period of time, I do a little bit of thinking. Here are some things I thought about.
The radio is a funny thing. I love listening to the radio. I love the witty banter between songs. I like to contrived interplay between deejays and callers who just won prizes worth about 50 dollars. I like hearing the same song four times across three stations in two hours. Most of all, I like the promos. I listen to four Atlanta based radio stations. That’s it. Five would be too many for me to comfortably keep a finger on every preset button and three is too few to a point where all three may be on commercial simultaneously. So I listen to Star 94.1, Radio 105.7: Atlanta’s New Alternative, 97.1 The River: Atlanta’s Classic Rock Station, and B98.5. (If you don’t live in the metro-Atlanta region, just know that means two pop stations, one alternative and one classic.) Those are my four stations. There is absolutely no deviation. And in today’s drive, I learned a few things about my taste in music.
Naturally, I also thought about baseball. The Ryan Braun suspension is a little disconcerting to me. Obviously, it hurts that one of the best talents in the game has had his legacy tarnished, but it hurts more that he can come back. I’m not a proponent of lifetime suspensions on the first offense, but I honestly thing that might be what we have to do. Fifty games is less than a third of the season. To be suspended less than a third of the season for violating the second most important rule in baseball (First: Don’t Gamble) is way too easy. I think the suspension should be 324 games plus the playoffs, or the equivalent of two full regular and postseasons. And that’s just on the first offense. The second offense should be a death penalty. Just look at Melky Cabrera, Bartolo Colon and Yasmani Grandal. All of those guys served 50 game suspensions in the last year for PEDs and they are all on the list again for Biogenesis. And they will be suspended, likely, for 100 games each. Two violations and they don’t even add up to a full season of baseball. That is crap. If the game is going to be cleaned up, these guys need to be suspended, without pay. Ryan Braun is going to make something like 18 million dollars this year, regardless of his suspension. That is wrong. He cheated. All of these guys cheated. And they should be punished as if they committed a cardinal sin of the game, not slapped on the wrist. Aside from Braun, these aren’t hall of fame-caliber players here. They won’t be judged by history. They will be judged in and only in the present. And we’re letting them off too easy. A two year suspension without pay would actually hurt a player and make them think twice. 50 games with pay, that’s just a two and a half month vacation. For these guys, it’s like a trip to summer camp.
Of course, I also thought about sitcoms a lot. I thought a lot about Frasier since I’ve been watching it a lot, but also about Cheers because, well, I’m an addict. And then I also thought about Friends and The Office and The Big Bang Theory. I went into deep, analytic and psychological analyses of characters and plot lines, deducing reasoning for certain actions from other actions. I thought way too long and hard about Sitcoms, and I do on a daily basis. So I had an idea. In all fairness, I’ve had this idea for about two weeks, but I decided on it today. I’m going to start doing some solo podcasts, probably two a week, maybe more, once I get back from vacation and figure out how to do them. I’m gonna do one a week called Sitcomology and I will do a discussion with myself about sitcoms. Because I can and you guys will listen. Then, I’ll also do one or two a week about sports. I don’t have a name for that one yet. If the situation arises where I want to tell a story, I’ll do one of those too. But here’s the thing. I also want actual feedback. No more of this no commenting and when you do it’s just an LOL here or a that was funny there. I want people to tell me what I do wrong or right and I want people to respond to me in the same way that I do to Martin whenever he writes something immensely stupid. So write responses in the comments which are coherent. Or, and this is much more fun of an idea, call me or text me and perform a rebuttal on the show with me so we can talk it out bro to bro (or bro to bro-ette.) I want these to be interactive. And I know only about six of you have made it this deep into the post, so I’ll repost this later once the first podcast goes up, but I want this to be my podcasts with guests and callers and me being called out for being the idiot I am.
Speaking of being an idiot, I don’t have a conclusion to this.