12 Minutes of Downtime - 1/6/16

from Nick Suss

Jan. 6, 2016, 11:22 a.m.

Welcome to 12 Minutes of Downtime. After this paragraph, everything in this post was typed by Nick with zero preplanning in 12 minutes. These were the topics that popped into his head and he wrote down every thought. There has been no editing done and no re-reading whatsoever. This is a transcript of his brain. Enjoy.

Interesting. As I was typing the title for this post, I realized it was the first time I had written 2016 as a date yet. Well, it was the first time I typed it. I wrote 2016 on a check a few days ago. But still. It’s always weird writing a new year. Part of me still thinks it’s either four or eight years ago. I’m not kidding. Out of instinct sometimes when I write down dates, I either write 2008 or 2012. I don’t know what it is about leap years, but I’ll probably think it’s 2016 in 2024.

I remember there was this commercial for Rooms To Go. It had to have been back in 2009, maybe beforehand. And it was advertising that you wouldn’t have to refinance a purchase until 2012 and I was like ‘Whoa, that’s forever from now! I should buy furniture.” Never mind that I had no income, no idea what refinancing was and no need for furniture. It just sounded like a good plan. Having a couch for three years before you had to pay for it? That sounds genius. And now I’m starting to realize why 2009 Nick didn’t really understand the economic collapse that had happened in the previous year. Early high school Nick apparently didn’t understand credit very well.

I only bring this story up because sometimes when I see a Rooms To Go commercial, which isn’t as often as it used to be anymore, I still think it’s that same one that involves no payment until 2012. And in my mind, 2012 is still a couple of years away. 2012 was an eternity ago. 2012 feels longer ago to me than 2008 does. I live in a warped mindset. But for some reason, furniture commercials make me forget what year it is. Is that a psychological condition? Is there a medical researcher out there right now reading this and thinking “By golly, this kid’s got Roomstogitis! We have to consult all of the chief commercialologists in the world on this one, it’s the most serious case I’ve ever seen!”

But yeah. Financial crisis reminds me. I saw The Big Short the other day. You should see it. It’s phenomenal.

Enough about that let’s talk about the fact that I’m finally cold and it’s awesome. What? You don’t like the cold? Boo-hoo. I love it. And yesterday when I was wearing shorts walking around downtown Athens with friends and people were looking at me like I was a leprous Nazi, I was in heaven. Nothing like a good shiver to remind you of … I’m not exactly sure where I was going with this. That metaphor doesn’t have an end and I don’t have time to keep thinking of an ending to it I’m on a clock here. So the first thing I thought when I walked outside was…

Hold on a second the back of my laptop keeps bumping into an empty water bottle and it sounds like a jet is taking off behind my computer. Either that or my stomach is rumbling. Nope. It’s both. Back to the story.

So the first thing I thought when I walked outside was “Man, it’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.” And I laughed for a second at my lack-of-wit before pondering when it’s supposed to feel like Christmas. Is it December 1? Is it Black Friday? Because like sometimes it gets cold in late October and early November around here. Is coldness the only prerequisite to feeling like Christmas? Or is the whole “toys in every store” thing that big of a deal? Because all the stores that sell toys sell them year-round. Like you can roll up on a Toys-R-Us in March, see that there are toys everywhere and assume that it feels a lot like Christmas. But what else is it? There has to be something and I wish I wasn’t running out of time to examine this idea further because I’m really intrigued but I’m out of time so I have to stop bye.


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