The Most College Food Ever: Frozen Waffles

from Connor Riley

Jan. 26, 2014, 3:11 p.m.

In college there are two types of people. The ones who are on meal plan, and the ones who are not. For those that are, they get a wide variety of choices whether it be from their sorority or fraternity or from the university’s meal plan. They get choices from mini corn-dogs to strawberry salads.

For those who are not on a meal plan, eating is seen more as a hassle than a joy. This is the group that I fall under. My parents provide me with plenty of food and I have enough money to buy any sweets or extra food that I might want. But being a 19 year old male, I often forget to take food out in the morning or am just too lazy to cook anything. That is why frozen waffles are the greatest food to a college student.

Frozen waffles are not the greatest meal ever. The frozen waffle isn’t so much a meal, but rather a quick snack. You can chose to cook it in a toaster or in a microwave, but know that microwaving it is the best way to do it as you can’t burn a frozen waffle in the microwave. The frozen waffle offers very little taste. It tastes like chicken, but only in the sense that it has no real taste. To give a waffle taste, the waffle has to become a side dish that complements the unhealthy amount of syrup poured on to the waffle.

Only then, when both sides of the waffle are covered in generic Costco. syrup, does the waffle become something of a meal. The syrup attempts to escape the waffle by rushing off it and onto ones hands or clothes. The once simple meal has become a sticky mess. You have to finish the waffle before washing off the accumulation of syrup off of yourself.

After finishing off the last of the waffle, and deciding not to lick the syrup off the plate, there is still a lingering sense of hunger. This sense of lingering hunger is what makes frozen waffles the greatest college meal ever. You want more waffles, but one of two things happens when you get to your freezer. You have either eaten all of your frozen waffles, and must either buy your own or drive home for a weekend and have your parents buy the 60 pack from Costco. Or you realize that you don’t have time to eat more waffles because you overslept and are going to be late to the 9:00 am class you wish you hadn’t signed up for.

The frozen waffle is a lot like college in the sense one always wants more, but sadly there comes a point where it is time to move on. Most of us wish that we could remain in that college state forever. Still somewhat relying on our parents, but having enough independence to be our own person. When you are in college, it is still socially acceptable to eat frozen waffles. People understand that funds could be tight. The food has no nutritional value. Yet if you offered it as a snack or meal to most 17-23 year olds, almost all would take it.

But nobody wants to be eating frozen waffles at age 30, just like one would not want to still be in college when they are 30. That is why frozen waffles are the most college food there is. You can’t eat waffles forever. There comes a time when you have to go to the grocery store to buy stuff like yogurt or baby carrots. And the next time you buy frozen waffles/visit a college campus it won’t be for you, but rather for your kid(s). So enjoy frozen waffles while you can, because there will come a day when it will no longer be socially acceptable for you to enjoy them.


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